haiz. my family is breaking apart
my sis and i hate each other
my dad and bro fight alot
mom and dad oso fight
idk what to do anymore.
i've already decided. and told my parents.
by the time i finish spm. either my sis gets her buttass married and move out or i will.
i cannot take her behavior any longer
she finds trouble and gets me in trouble,
when i start to argue back, she would slap me.
she thinks by slapping me i will obey her like a slave. PFFT .
she will never gain my respect my doing that.
earn the respect. not getting it by force
well.
by that type of "BITCHY" behavior, how can i just keep quiet and accept it?
you must be crazy.
obviously i would go in defense mode la.
then my parents. who dont anything will scold me because i 'pok chui'
WTF weih
if i had to choose my friends or my family. i may choose none.
family already like that so i will not depend on them. when my parents pass on. i lagi die la.
maybe time will heal our relationship but idk when la.
she already declared in front of my mom SHE HATES ME.
so what. like i care if u hate me . i hate you more. than anyone else in the world
She is the worst sister i will ever have.
and friends. no friends last forever. they come and they go.
oh look at my sis and my bro outsude. talking to each other. having fun me leh? sit here with no one to talk to. everyday at home is like that.
i come back from schl. eat. bathe. do hw. on com. eat dinner. bath. so stuffs.. pack bad. sleep.
no communications at all.
my only communication is my msn friends.
like that oso my parents want to take away from me.
what else do i have? i cant go out.
at schl i feel much happier. be around some ppl.
it totally distract my mind from what is happening to me at home. i can barely remember what sorrow i have at home. cosplay too. i feel happy. but sad when im going home.
i conceal my feelings. im soo hyper but im actually sad . ooh. im like a pokerface arent i?
some ppl say my personality gets effect from the house. so i bring my bad personalities[annoying, talkative, etc] from home because maybe im lonely and needs more attention . but it tends to annoy ppl so i will try my best not to bring my family matter to my friends.
i dont have any ppl to confide this matter either o_o
oh well.
i guess mainly why am i so annoying or etc is the reasons above?
so
i would like to say im really sorry to everyone i have done wrong to, hurt, or said mean things or said things i dont mean.
and sorry i have borrowed money and unable to pay.
as you can see my parents arent the type to give you whole stack of money and let you spend it.
i have tight allowance [rm25 perweek for schl.. and some money i use for stuffs like food, books, class funds.] and each month i can only get RM50-80.
so im really sorry.
i have to start sewing soon as i can afford much of any costumes anymore -.-
and sorry if i need to borrow your costumes/wigs ;A;
im really sorry.
i hope to get a job so that i can occupy myself with some work that can pull me out of my misery and regret emotions. i want a job . why do my bday have to be so far away.
to ppl that hates me, dislike me or wtv[you know who you are] :
so sorry la if you dont like me nor my behavior but that's the way i am. i am trying for a change. hey, rome wasn't built in a day you know =..= dont expect me to change my persona in just like one week -.-
again. sry for the emo post. [i donot cut myself like a emo person does. i have a life]
okay okay. i just want to spill everything out. aa.. i feel like my heart has just lighten up.
thanks for lettting me waste your precious time reading this bullshit here .. or myb no one will even care to read this
<3
